On August 8 and 9, 1995, I made two little books of things I scrawled on Post-It Notes while temping at the Bank of America. Some are little stories, some are random phrases, some are things from the radio, a lot are things I wanted to shout out at my co-workers but didn’t.

August 8: Josh’s Li’l Book of Love

1. Shut your hole! asshead
2. The Silence of Desperate Monotony, by 401(k) Allen
3. Where do YOU work, ASSHOLE?
4. Isn’t is hilarious how stupid and inefficient and worthless we all are?
5. Jello Thinking!
6. Advertisers so desperately want their product to be given a nickname by the consumers — “Sunny D?” “OK!”
7. It’s a true story. You couldn’t make something like that up. You guessed it … safety.
8. Numbers, files, Natalie Cole, Mariah Carey, Dan Fogelberg, Flashdance … What A Feeling, Air Supply, Lionel Richie
9. The printer’s arm is broken and now it works better! THUMBS UP.
10. Out out damned blue ink! Can you feel the love tonight?
11. Dear Babette, Went to permanent lunch. Yours, Josh
12. The Weather Channel via KOIT. What could be BETTER? (cher?)
13. Hey! I’ve got an idea! Shut the fuck up! (bumper sticker idea #312)
14. Yet another rubberband snaps, scarring my hand, flying to the table…in the shape of a heart. Ah, there’s still love in the world.
15. Gaysian bitch session! Please vacate the room.
16. I’m the soul surgeon. Malpractice!
17. Taking a long break … COCKSUCKER?
18. Once upon a time there was a temp who killed everyone and he was lonely and sad but soon got over it. The End!
19. Everything I do … I do it for Jiffy Lube. On the Luuuuuuube Show
20. My head is rotting with brain-crack and hot death
21. This is exactly where I want to be this is exactly where I want to be this is exactly where I want to be this is exactly where I want to be this is exactly where I want to be this is

August 9: Oh, Josh Book Two

1. I had a Sunkist for brunch with my crossword puzzle.
2. All the trees in her yard were connected by tightropes … she never touched the lawn.
3. A baffling display was put on by Hiney and Morris. We all went home giggling and shrugging.
4. He walked the length of the world, baseball and daughter and Bible in hand.
5. MORE bad ideas!
6. Good morning! Time to shut up!
7. She kept a little book of numbers locked in her drawer. A diary of daily favorites.
8. A capacity for the mundane.
9. 100% pure alphabetization!!!
10. Horace played a mournful dirge on the cello. Doris pounded on his bedroom wall with a hammer. “Hush up!”
11. Yes, because I’m not a complete idiot like you.
12. WILL YOU PLEASE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY?
13. Western Waste Industries Inc. 10-35-150-1901300
14. She plays an instrument called a heinophone. It barks whalesong!
15. He won the lottery. Built a fallout shelter, filled it with gas and food and clothing, but kept working at the mexican restaurant.
16. It’s too bad Jerry Garcia’s dead but do they have to play his music all goddamn day?
17. Nothing makes the day go faster than listening to your witty conversations.
18. Once there was a man who wore orange boots and broadcast his voice to distant planets using only materials one could buy at Radio Shack and Home Depot.
19. Braille crib sheets. Walls filled with braille-encoded novels — hands rushing towards the conclusion.
20. Together they bought a house and never went into the basement.