OK forget what I said before about living in a rustic house. Last night this horrifying insect with way more legs than necessary came skittering out from behind Alexis’ bureau and I had to stand up on the bed and scream and kill it with two fistfuls of toilet paper because otherwise I’d be lying awake all night, worried that it was going to crawl into my mouth and lay eggs while I slept. I’m wondering what it was. It wasn’t a millipede but I can certainly understand how the guy who originally named insects back in olden times might’ve come up with that sort of over-the-top-name — “O shit! That thing doth have like a thousand freaking legs! I shall dub thee millipede,” etc.