Today I’m thirty years old. Let’s take a quick snapshot:

Portland, Maine. The only single-syllable state. Currently nineteen degrees. Trash day. In Portland you have to use special government-issue trashbags which are blue and cost more than your standard black trashbags, even though they’re of a poorer quality. But the garbagemen won’t take away non-blue bags.

Here’s my little office just now:

And here’s what it looked like from our back porch about ten minutes ago:

Alexis made bacon and eggs for breakfast, plus we had Orangina which I hadn’t had in like ten years. Yesterday I bought some of the clear cranberry juice, based on kfan’s recommendation. I’d never heard of it before but must admit that the Ocean Spray press release is accurate when describing the flavor as milder, smoother and oh, so drinkable.

Alex gave me many, many fine gifts but I think the Root Beer Brewery Kit might turn out to be the finest.

I’m wearing a bright purple t-shirt that says Colorado Rockies on it, always a clear indication that the laundry needs to be done, like, posthaste and shit.

Songs I’ve heard this morning: Yes, “City of Love”; Cliff Martinez, “Will She Come Back”; Pavement, “Here (Peel Session 1)”; Queens of the Stone Age, “Song for the Deaf”; Teenage Fanclub, “The Concept”; Rushmore soundclip, “O. R. They?”; The Cult, “She Sells Sanctuary”; Boards of Canada, “Alpha and Omega”; The The, “Twilight of a Champion”; Ocarina of Time Soundtrack, “Enter Ganondorf”; Lamb, “Gold”; Luomo, “Synkro”; Judas Priest, “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming”; Orbital, “Halcyon and On and On”; Talking Heads, “Heaven”; Kid Loco, “Grantby - Grimble”; The Cure, “The Hanging Garden”; Loverboy, “Turn Me Loose”; Latin Playboys, “Tormenta Blvd”; Ryoji Ikeda, “Headphonics 0/1”; The Breeders, “The She”; Four Tet, “Parks.”

The last email I wrote went out yesterday afternoon and said, among other things: “That’s plenty anecdote! You mean the big guy from Canada! Used to be a lumberjack! Sure, sure, I know aaaaaaaall about them and their little baby.”

Raw output from my browser’s history file from this morning: Flak Magazine: The State of the Union, Flak Magazine, S E R I A L T E X T . C O M, Salon.com, Blog of a Bookslut, The Hypertext Connection: Archive, The Hypertext Connection: Ex-Girlfriend Soliloquies: Vol. 2, http://hypertext.bloop.org/, PayPal, Swappingtons: the book, CD and DVD swapping and trading emporium, Cardhouse Inflight Meal Product, riley dog..half-baked cookies in the oven..fruitcakes on the street.., experience the SHARPEWORLD difference, slatch.com | the biscuit city road fan club, Yahoo! Movies - Showtimes, scrubbles.net, My DiaryLand Diary, ToT :: no war, d/blog, thomas william jarvis, posters.jpg, style.JPG, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Update - The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker for GameCube at GameSpot, GameSpot: for all your PC Game, Game Boy Advance, PlayStation 2, Xbox, and GameCube needs., The Morning News - The Rolling Stones, Aftermath, The Morning News, movabletype.org, vending, Ftrain.com, Tagline: a movie weblog, EXPERIENCE, Typographica.

All of my Animal Crossing neighbors, except the jerks, gave me birthday presents today. Mostly hideous shirts that I quickly sold back to the store, but still, it was a sweet gesture.

My mother called at the time of my birth. She read the “If You Were Born On This Day” thing from the horoscope: “Don’t spend the entire year hanging out with your friends. Schedule at least one retreat with an enlightened advisor.” I don’t remember the rest.

OK I go weep now.