What do you think, you think I’m wired so emotional impulses are muted? Chart me on an oscilloscope and it’s a calm green line, making arcs and jags so subtle they barely register? Like: You know if the Earth was the size of a billiard ball and you could hold it in your hand, it would feel just like a billiard ball, utterly smooth, no sharp points in the Himalayas, no gouges in northwest Arizona? That’s because the highs and lows of the world get reduced to absolute evenness when you’re grasping them from that far away.

So I look around this room in which I sit, this room where I am lucky enough to spend my days working, and I try to feel those points and gouges. I want them to hurt. But sometimes it’s only when the world is a billiard ball that I can really feel it.