OK so this is the novel I'm working on. It's about pirates and zeppelins and diners and whores and automatons. Cherrie Ziad is writing chapter summaries over at Fort Black.

Everything I've written for this site except the things I threw away in shame. Mostly short stories masquerading as non-fiction or vice versa.

The only beverage review site that matters. Kevin Fanning and I drink soda and juice until we can no longer judge good writing from bad.

The diary of a copywriter, written on company time, billed to the client.

Articles and whatnot for other sites, including The Morning News, Wired, and McSweeney's.

I record droney music under the name Orifex. Two albums are available for your downloading pleasure: My Love Feeling of Love Dynamo and Fugue.

I have been involved in a number of Bob Moricz pictures. Roles include but are not limited to: Deranged Brain Surgeon, Incestuous Father, Guy With Flesh-Eating Disease, and Guitar-Playing Exorcist.

The Sexiest Sentence Alive, Fireland Broke My Will To Live, The Black Pill Diaries, and a bunch of old Fireland designs on Flickr.

I can be reached at . You can also join the notify list for extremely infrequent updates via email. And here's the RSS feed. OK thank you bye now!